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I 


TICKLED  TO  DEATH 


. A Vaudeville  Sketch  In  One  Act 


BY  WILLIAM  AND  JOSEPHINE  GILES 

Authors  of  Uncle  Si’s  Predicament,  Hoosier  School,  Bachelor’s 
Elopement,  Rube’s  Family,  Advice  Wanted,  Etc 


Copyright  1916  by  Dick  & Fitzgerald 


FITZGERALD  PUBLISHING  CORPORATION 

SUCCESSOR  TO 

Dick  & Fitzgerald 


18  Vesey  St, 


New  York 


TICKLED  TO  DEATH. 


CHARACTERS. 


Sam  Johnson Black  face 

Bob  Jackson Black  face 

Time  of  Playing. — About  15  minutes. 

COSTUMES. 

Eccentric.  ' 

STAGE  DIRECTIONS. 

As  seen  by  a performer  on  the  stage  facing  the  audience,  r., 
means  right-hand;  l.,  left-hand;  c.,  center  of  stage.  Up,  means 
toward  back  of  stage;  down,  toward  footlights. 


TICKLED  TO  DEATH 


SCENE. — A street.  Entrances  right  and  left, 
ENTER  Sam  Johnson  r. 

Sam.  Ladies  and  gentlemen,  with  your  kind  permission  and 
approval,  I will  endeavor  to  articulate  a charming  and  spectac- 
ular ballad  e.  ititled  A Little  Powder  and  a Little  Paint, 
Makes  a Woman  What  She  Ain^t  {Introduces  any  available 
song.  After  song  looks  off  l.,  sees  some  one  coming)  Now  Pse 
wondering  who  this  nigger  am  cornin',  seems  like  he’s  done 
lookin’  foh  somethin’.  Maybe  somebody  rob  his  hen-house  or 
stole  his  wife. 

ENTER  Bob  Jackson  l. 

Bob.  Hello  there,  friend. 

Sam.  How-do-you-do. 

Bob.  Say,  I’se  all  done  lookin’  foh  somethin’. 

Sam.  Huh,  yo’  all  don’t  have  to  look  foh  it  around  heah. 

Bob.  Say,  does  yo’  all  know  a gal  by  the  name  of  Eliza  Green 
around  heah  ? 

Sam.  Eliza  Green,  Eliza  Green.  {Scratching  his  head  and 
thinking)  I don’t  know  her  I guess,  but  what  kind  ob  a lookin’ 
gal  am  she  ? 

Bob.  Well  sir,  I’se  can’t  hardly  tell  yo’  so  very  much  about 
her,  only  dat  she  looks  like  some  chicken  to  dis  nigger.  I’se  met 
her  down  at  de  beach  de  other  day  and  she  done  asked  me  to 
call  around  this  afternoon  and  see  her.  She  said  dat  her  hus- 
band run  de  barber  shop  on  de  cornah. 

Sam.  Is  she  de  gal  dat  goes  bathen  down  at  de  beach  so 
much  ? 

Bob.  She  sure  am  de  chicken. 


e 


Tickled  to  Death. 


Sam  (starts,  aside'),  De  man  who  murdered  my  wife. 
(Aloud)  And  yo’  am  de  nigger  who  Tse  been  searchin'  foh  all 
dese  years. 

Bob.  Searchin'  foh  me?  Nigger,  what  do  yo’  all  mean? 

Sam.  Yo'  all  done  murdered  mah  wife. 

Bob  (starts).  Murdered  yoh  wife? 

Sam.  Yes,  yo'  done  murdered  mah  wife,  stole  her  wooden 
leg,  false  hair  and  her  false  teeth. 

Bob.  Who,  me  ? 

Sam.  Yes,  yoh. 

Bob.  How  do  yo'  know? 

Sam.  How  do  I know? 

Bob.  Yes,  how  do  yo'  know? 

Sam.  Her  glass  eye  layed  on  de  table  and  saw  yo*. 

Bob  (starts,  aside).  Discovered. 

Sam  (takes  two  feathers  from  his  pocket  and  lays  them  on 
his  arm.  To  Bob)  Now  choose  yoh  weppens.  (Bob  takes 
one.  Business,  They  fight  a duel  with  the  two  feathers,, 
tickles  Bob  under  the  chin  and  he  whirls  and  falls) 

Bob.  Yo’  have  all  done  killed  me. 

Sam.  Me  killed  yo^? 

Bob.  Yes,  yo*  have  done  killed  me. 

Sam.  How  have  I killed  yo'. 

Bob.  Yo’  have  tickled  me  to  death. 

SONG  BY  BOTH. 


CURTAIN, 


COMEDIES  AND  WESTERN  DRAMAS 


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MY  SON  ARTHUR  PRICE  25  CENTS 

Comedy  in  1 act,  by  M.  F.  Kingston.  2 males  (1  unimportant),  8 fe- 
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finds  each  girl  whom  she  meets  very  suitable  in  habits  and  temperament 
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climax.  Recommended  for  schools. 


A SUCCESSFUL  FAILURE  PRICE  25  CENTS 

Comedy  in  1 act,  by  G.  M.  Rosener.  2 males,  1 female.  1 interior. 
Time,  ^ hour.  A clever  little  sketch  in  which  the  pathetic  and  humorous 
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for  a bright  actress. 


THAT  LITTLE  ROGUE  NEXT  DOOR 

PRICE  15  CENTS 

Farce  in  1 act,  by  H.  Sander.  2 males,  3 females.  1 interior.  Time, 
hour.  A peppery  but  kind-hearted  old  maid  fears  the  despoiling  of 
her  fruit  trees.  A young  student,  in  love  with  her  niece  desiring  to  visit 
the  house,  offers  to^  protect  the  garden.  The  identity  of  the  student  and 
the  “Little  Rogue’^  is  finally  disclosed  in  an  excellent  climax. 


WHEN  WOMEN  RULE  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Farce  in  1 act,  by  A.  E.  Platt.  2 males,  4 females.  1 interior.  Time, 
15  minutes.  The  scene  is  laid  ten  years  hence  when  the  presidential  office 
is  filled  by  a suffragist.  Has  a good  soubrette  role. 


UP-TO-DATE  ANNE  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Domestic  comedy  in  2 acts,  by  L.  S.  Keys.  2 males,  3 females.  1 in- 
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Western  drama  in  3 acts,  by  C.  W.  Townsend.  11  males,  3 females.  1 
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participants. 


MISS  MOSHER  OF  COLORADO  PRICE  25  CENTS 

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females.  1 interior,  2 exteriors.  Time,  2 hours.  In  “character”  parts 
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climaxes  are  effective,  and  the  stage  pictures  pretty. 


RED  ROSETTE  PRICE  25  CENTS 

Western  drama  in  3 acts,  by  G.  V.  May.  6 males,  3 females.  2 in- 
teriors, 1 exterior.  Time,  2 hours.  ^ The  story  is  full  of  interest,  the 
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ROCKY  FORD  PRICE  25  CENTS 

Western  drama  in  4 acts,  by  G.  V.  May.  8 males.  3 females.  I ex- 
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VAUDEVILLE  SKETCHES 


BERNSTEIN  AND  FIRESTEIN  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Sketch  in  Hebrew  dialect  for  2 males,  by  J.  F.  Parsons.  Time,  15  min- 
utes. Concludes  with  song,  for  v/hich  text  and  music  are  given. 


A CHEERFUL  COMPANION  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Duologue  for  2 females,  by  I.  L.  Cassilis.  Time,-  25  minutes.  A lady 
advertises  for  a cheerful,  musical  companion.  She  has  one  applicant  who 
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THE  COON  AND  THE  CHINK  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Sketch  for  2 males,  by  W.  Carter.  Time,  20  minutes.  A bright  dialogue 
between  a negro  and  a Chinaman. 


DOLLY’S  DOUBLE  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Musical  sketch  for  1 male,  1 female,  by  C.  Stuart.  Time,  20  minutes. 
A very  humorous  conception,  bright  and  catchy,  leading  to  a clever  cli- 
max. 


FINNEGAN  AND  FLANAGAN  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Farcical  sketch  for  1 male,  1 female,  by  W.  C.  Parker.  Time,  25  min- 
utes. Finnegan  has  a smile  as  broad  as  the  Lakes  of  Killarney,  and  Mrs. 
Flanagan  has  “the  force  as  well  as  the  fanc3v’’ 


A GENTLE  TOUCH  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Sketch  for  1 male,  1 female,  by  K.  Kavanaugh.  Time,  ^ hour.  A very 
bright  cross-fire  skit  between  a retired  major  and  a jolly  soubrette. 


JOHN’S  EMMY  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Sketch  for  1 male,  1 female,  by  C.  Stuart.  Time,  20  minutes.  A me- 
thodical old  book  worm  awaits  a young  girl  who  is  to  be  his  ward.  A 
type  of  girl  whom  he  did  not  expect  arrives  and  to  whose  wiles  he  finally 
succumbs. 


MORE  GET  BACKS  PRICE  25  CENTS 

Duologue  for  2 males,  by  D.  B.  Hicks.  Time,  15  minutes.  A snappy 
cross-fire  act  full  of  jokes,  gags  and  sidewalk  patter. 


MULDOON  AND  THE  NIGGER  PRICE.  15. CENTS 

Sketch  in  dialect  for  2 males,  by  H.  E.  Shelland.  Muldoon,  an  Irish 
stage  manager,  engages  Johnson  (a  darky)  for  a role  in  a tragedy  he  is 
about  to  produce.  Johnson’s  attempts  to  act  are  unusually  comical.  Closes 
with  a song. 


THE  NEW  CHAUFFEUR  • PRICE  15  CENTS 

Sketch  in  dialect  for  2 males,  by  H.  E.  Shelland.  Time,  15  minutes. 
A German  brewer  hires  an  ignorant  Irishman  as  chauffeur.  Very  funny, 
and  leads  up  to  dialect  minstrelsy. 


RAPS  PRICE  15  CENTS 

^ Sketch  by  E.  M.  Crane  for  2 males.  Time,  about  30  minutes.  A bright 
dialogue  full  of  patter  between  an  Irish  carpenter  and  a slightly  intoxi- 
cated gilded  youth. 


TICKLED  TO  DEATH  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Sketch  for  2 black  faced  comedians,  by  W.  & J.  Giles.  Time,  15  min- 
utes. A rapid  skit  suitable  for  minstrel  interludes. 


TWO  WANDERING  JEWS  PRICE  15  CENTS 

A sketch  in  Hebrew  dialect,  for  2 males,  by  H.  E.  Shelland.  Time,  15 
minutes.  Full  of  funny  dialogue  and  repartee.  Ends  with  a song. 


A VAGABOND  COUPLE  PRICE  15  CENTS 

Sketch  for  2 males,  by  J.  Sweimler.  ' Time,  20  minutes.  Screamingly 
comical  character  sketch  with  opportunities  for  songs  and  dances. 


NEW  PLAYS 

★AUNT  JERUSHY  ON  THE  WAR  PATH.  25  cents,  a 

rural  farce  in  3 acts,  by  Lieut.  Beale  Cormack.  ^ 4 male,  5 female  characters  and 
a chorus  (which  may  be  omitted).  No  scenery  required.  Time,  hours.  This  is 
one  of  the  funniest  plays  ever  written  and  has  been  produced  professionally  for  two 
seasons.  The  plot  concerns  a group  of  country  folks  on  the  farm  and  at  a village 
carnival.  Characters,  an  old  man,  comical  country  boy,  sideshow  barker,  old  maid, 
old  lady,  soubrette  lead,  two  carnival  queens.  The  play  is  easy  to  get  up  and  easy  to 
act  as  the  situations  and  lines  are  so  funny  they  simply  play  themselves. 

★BREAKING  WINNIE.  25  cents,  A comedy  in  3 acts,  by  Carl 

Webster  Pierce.  5 male,  5 female  characters.  2 interior  scenes.  Time,  about  2 
hours.  Margaret  Bronson^  a noted  authoress,  has  answered  an  advertisement  of 
“The  Lonely  Hearts  Correspondence  Club,’’  in  order  to  procure  new  characters  for 
her  writings.  She  accidently  breaks  her  wrist  and  therefore  gets  her  sister  Winnie 
to  do  the  correspondence  with  the  “Lonely  Hearters”  for  her.  Winnie  -writes  such 
beautifully  romantic  letters  that  3 of  the  “Lonely  Hearters”  decide  to  visit  the  writer, 
who  already  has  a fiance.  The  comedy  situations  are  created  when  the  3 correspond- 
ents arrive  and  Winnie  gets  3 girls  to  impersonate  her  while  she  impersonates  them. 
This  causes  a considerable  mix-up  which  is  not  cleared  until  final  curtain. 

★PM  CURED;  or.  Nearly  a Film  Star*  25  cents.  A comedy  in  2 

acts  and  prologue,  by  C.  N.  Bourgholtzer.  8 female  characters.  2 interior  scenes. 
Time,  about  1 hour.  Jane^  against  her  aunt’s  wishes,  decides  to  leave  home  to  become 
a film  star.  While  awaiting  an  interview  with  the  moving  picture  Director  she  meets 
other  applicants  including  a vamp,  country  girl,  East  Side  girl,  lady  of  leisure,  etc. 
The  situation  becomes  too  confused  for  Jane  when  the  Rajah  arrives  looking  for  his 
stolen  wife  and  Jane  goes  back  home  thoroughly  cured.  Every  character  good. 

JfMAY  QUEEN^  The;  or,  The  Fairies^  Levee*  25  cents.  A mu- 
sical play  for  any  number  of  children,  especially  suitable  for  church  and  school  enter- 
tainment. The  number  of  attendants  on  the  May  Queen  and  Fairy  Queen  depends 
upon  the  number  of  scholars  available.  It  is  not  absolutely  necessary  to  use  music  as 
given,  as  any  other  songs  may  be  substituted.  Stage  setting  is  very  simple.  This 
is  a very  effective  musical  piece  and  is  sure  to  give  satisfaction  wherever  produced, 

A^THAT  PARLOR  MAID.  25  cents.  A comedy  in  3 acts,  by  Helen 

C.  Clifford.  5 male,  6 female  characters,  i interior  scene.  Time,  about  hours. 
Anntty  who  thinks  a parlor  maid’s  duty  is  in  the  parlor  amusing  the  guests,  wins  the 
favor  of  all,  while  Drusilla^  a poetess,  drives  everybody  to  desperation.  Mrs. 
Hamilton.,  who  wants  her  son  Bob  to  marry  a girl  of  high  social  standing,  is  horribly 
shocked  when  a telegram  arrives  announcing  the  elopement  of  Bob  and  “ That  Parlor 
Maid''  Mrs.  Hamiltbn  and  Uncle  John's  schemes  and  all  the  double  crossing  is  not 
cleared  until  the  final  curtain.  Every  part  good.  * 

★HAPPINESS  AT  LAST.  25  cents.  Comedy  in  3 acts,  by  J.  L.  Shute 

and  Beulah  King.  4 male,  5 female  characters,  x interior  scene.  Time,  hours. 
Mary^  realizes  that  Uncle  John  must  stay  single  while  she,  her  sister  and  aunt  remain 
parasites.  To  help  her  uncle  she  determines  on  a career  lor  herself.  A harmless 
flirtation  which  almost  becomes  serious  and  the  perplexing  situations  which  ai«  brought 
about  by  Mary  s schemes  to  marry  off  her  aunt  and  sister  are  very  funny  indeed, 

★FOUR  AD  VENTURERS,The.  25  cents.  A comedy  in  i act,  by 

Katharine  Kavanaugh.  4 female  characters.  1 interior  scene,  very  simple.  Time, 
30  minutes.  An  amateur  artist,  cook,  author,  and  singer  have  decided  to  stick  to  their 
careers becatise  they  think  it  is  Bohemian,  although  they  are  nearly  starving.  Virginia 
betrays  them  to  the  enemy,  “Their  Sweethearts,”  and  everybody  is  happy 

★FRIENDLY  TIP^  A*  25  cents.  A playlet  in  i act,  by  Katharine 
Kavanaugh.  i male,  3 female  characters,  i interior  scene.  Time,  30  minutes. 
Jim  calls  on  Jean^  a former  sweetheart,  and  tells  her  of  his  monotonous  married  Hfe. 
The  clever  scheme  by  which  Jean  brings  back  the  love  to  a husband  and  wife  who  are 
drifting  apart  is  told  in  the  play.  Every  part  good. 

★ITAINT  MY  fault.  25  cents.  A comedy  in  x act,  by  Katharine 
Kavanaugh.  3 male,  3 female  characters.  i interior  scene.  Time,  45  minutes. 
Jimmie  endeavors  to  obtain  an  interview  with  Elise  Morton.,  a pupil  in  the  DeKaib 
School  for  Young  Ladies,  in  order  to  find  out  the  whereabouts  of  her  father  who  has 
apparently  disappeared.^  By  masquerading  as  one  of  the  pupils,  which  causes  many 
funny  situations,  yzmwrV  succeeds  in  getting  the  information.  Poor  Noah  is  blamed 
for  it  all,  but  he  says.  “It  Aint  My  Fault.”  Suited  for  Schools. 


Fitzgerald  Publishing  Corporation,  18  Vesey  St.,  N.  Y. 


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